Cracking the nut

In a moment of discussion with two of my closest friends, I needed to find some sort of comparison for how I was feeling in my current state of existence. Not quite shifting into a new version of myself, not quite discovering who I was, but more like digging deeper into my identity. Out came the words, "I feel like I am cracking the nut," and there it was. It doesn't really make too much sense, but I described to them that I have always been this nut, but only recently have I figured out that there is a whole inside to the nut that I haven't let see the light, and I don't even really fully know what it looks like. I didn't realize that there was a shell to crack, and that if I cracked it, maybe I could learn way more about the nut than if I kept the shell whole. Cracking it didn't even seem like an option, but here I am, needing to figure out how I can open it up.

At first it seemed kind of scary, but then I realized that even if I crack the nut, it's not like the shell is gonna disappear, or the nut is going to completely change forms. It will just allow me to better understand what's inside of there, and use it to my full potential.

My friends are very kind and have known me for a super long time, so they said they totally understood it. Not sure if it would resonate the same way for other people, but maybe to some it would make sense. All that being said, for some reason this saying that I made up on the fly has really stuck with me. Cracking the nut. I must crack the nut. Need to do it.

Now that I know I can get to the inside, I need to figure out how.